i'm a creeper :D

so i was sitting under the table in a big dinning in the corner of a dinning full of tables that have a window next to it. as i was polishing the table legs, a kid was walking outside and looked in, at the same time, i was staring out to the windown, he freaked out cuz there's a weird kid out of no where sitting in a corner :D :D :D

oh, it's blood

(work break time)
Ly ( a woman at work) : what are you drinking?
me: blood
Ly: stop kidding around
me: no i'm serious, (sprite and red berry crystal light powder mixed, look just like blood)
(take finger and put some of the drink on)
me: see? it's blood, (pretend lke squeezing out blood from fingers *note: it look exactly like blood)
Ly: ....*surprised*
me: oh i'm kidding :D
Ly: -____-

money for the poor

(at a random point during dinner)
sis: when you get a job, all the money go to mommy and sister right?
me: I rather give it to the poor than to you
dad: what do you mean by poor, what's ur definition of poor? real poor or those lazy drug addicts guys, (blah blah blah blah,... ect ect ect..) what's ur definition of poor?
mom: those girls whom dance around the pole ?? they're so poor they don't have enough clothes to wear.
( ect ect everyone jump in)

me: ...........

Yep

(a phone call)
pana: Duy?
me: yep
pana: how's my friend doing, is she doing alright?
me: yep
pana: have she eat yet?
me: yep
pana: have you eat yet?
me: yep
pana: are you working tomorrow?
me: yep
pana: can you stop answering with yep?
me: yep
pana: dakljfaslfjkslksaldkjf bye
me: yep
(hung up)

oiii brother..

dieu: An, grab that rose bushes.
lit bro: i'm not dumb...
dieu: duy, grab it
me: *grab* (laugh) ahahaha
lit bro: he grabbed it!1
dieu: yeah he's dumb.
(10 secs later)
lit bro: aaaaaaaaaaa it hurtsssssssssssssssssssss (he grabbed the rose bushes)
me: ahahahahahahaha
dieu: why did you grabbed it......
lit bro: duy grabbed it, i  thought it didn't hurt :(:(:( (look like about to cry.)
me: stupido, just because i laughed doesn't mean it's not hurt :D

name...

me: Sorry, i dont remember stuff name well. I mean, i barely know that guy name
cooley: it's ok, there's other thing in the trivia
me: wait, I dont know that guy name. ahahaha
cooley: hahahaha he's kind of important and you should know
me: (whispered) what's his name?
cooley: (____)  *note: i forgot again ahahahahaha

an interesting text

"hi.. duy. see.. i did text to u.. lol. dont bug me.. im doin homework..hahaha"

scratch your ears

sis: I feel like there's a grain of rice in the back of my nose and my throat hurt
me: oh, that's easy to get rid of. Just scratch behind your ears and suck it (breath in hard) in with your nose.
sis: *scratching behind her ears n sniffed* Like this?
me: ahahahahaha
sis: you bastard.....

animie

viet: I was looking through manga yesterday to find something new. I went into this manga and read a couple chapter. turned out, it was a gay manga and now girl dress up as boy... WTFFFFFFF

don't drag me in it...

me, watching cartoon
others, talking about fake marriage for citizenship
(after a while)
dad: take duy for example, he have nothing to lose, he can't be trick ,he's fit for these thing. i mean, if he get a divorce, all they can do is divide up a pistol.
me: -____---- Oiiiii don't drag me into this convo......

my best day at work.

7 am, came in
eat muffin and drink coffee to wake up till 8
make table/chair shinny till 9:45
break till 10:30
back to clean chair till 11:45
lunch till 1:15
wipe dust till 2
sleep on the couch till 3
go home. get paid for 8 hours of work :D

grandkids

dad: When you guys have kids, if you want me to babysit them, better teach them to be quiet. or else they will just sit in that corner the whole day.

question 31

viet: man i'm so stupid, i left one question unanswered

me: which one

viet: question 31, i checked the exam over n over but...(interrupted)

me: question 31!!?? what? there's question 31??? (look throw the exam), WTH it's a 30 question exam, why is there a question 31 on the back page??!!!!

viet: question 1 doesn't count

me: EHHHHHHH????????????

Just like you

me: You know, I was talking to this girl yesterday, and she's just like you.
Viet: what do you mean???
me: well, i was talking to her, somehow we got on the manga topic, and she keep talking non stop. one after another, like you.
viet: really? who? where????
me: she work yesterday, in the desert. she work here every friday.
viet: oh, what did she talk about?
me: idk, i dont remember.... she keep jumping manga and anime and tell them like you.... i had to jump to this guy and ran away hahaha
viet: oh, (then 5 minutes of bugging me to get which anime she was talking about, ofcourse, i have no idea, i dont remember...)
(10 minutes later)
viet: man, you make me curious now, i cant concentrate now......

ahh i see

(stopped at red light, cousin car on the side)
viet: you know, this ass forgot to put his headlight on, so the woman behind run over and tell him to
me: ohhhh the woman that came out and run to another car? i was complaining cuz she had the whole line of car wait
me: sooo you was the reason you asshole!
trung: Shut UP! :D hehe:D 

:D

me: Where do you work tonight?
qingyi: I don't know
me: I think you're on the line tonight
qingyi: maybe...
me: not maybe you are on the line tonight. hmm wanna bet?
qingyi: bet??
me: yeah, if you lose, you will own me a favor, if i lose, i will own you a favor.
qingyi: hmm ok sure, we'll bet
"shoke hand"
(she went ask the supervisor)
(walk back)
me: so where do you work tonight?
qingyi: i work in here
me: where?
qingyi: at bershire, this place
me: ... hahaha you lost :D
qingyi: ok, i own you a favor, what do u want to do, movie?
me: nahhh i haven't think of it yet, i ll get back on you some other time
qingyi: you're evil.
me: :D

see you next week :)))

about to be late. rushed to class. walked into the wrong room =__=

sat down in about 5ft away from the professor and realized it. then she started to talk n talk n talk which made me couldn't leave because i would feel guilty and rude......(sighs... need to work on this)

in the middle of the class, had to picked someone n pair up to debate. (apparently it's a debate class)

somehow i got crazy and actually participate in the class like it was mine. 

at the end of the class:

my partner: it was nice meeting you, i ll see you again next week ?

me: oh, i'm not in this class, i'm walked in the wrong room, mine's next door.

partner: ahahaha (rolling on the chair laughing)

(the people behind her  looked at me weirdly like i did something weird to her -___-)

HATE KARMA

start from the beginning.

cal class. a guy walk in. wore short and t shirt. everyone looked
me thinking: WTH IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY. WHAT IS HE THINKING.


9 hours late. going to pick mom up. she cook for umass dinning. i was an hour early (dad told me at 9:30) but it's at 10:30 -___-.
waited. then came in
everyone looked.
here it go

1: manager: it's summer huh??
2: laty: nice and warm outside huh?
3: depart: ohoo it's summer eh?
4: rojenaa: warm and cozy?
5: janitor: on vacation huh?
6: smiley(dunno her real name): hey, long time no see. "look down". uhmm i dont wanna know
7
8
9
10 ect ect ect probably 15

note: i had sandle and short on -___-

RD #6

How do you put an Elephant into the fridge ?

Open it up and put it in. 

How do you put a Giraffe into the fridge?

take the elephant out and put the Giraffe in. 

The Lion King summon all animals to a meeting. but one animal refuse to go, which one?

The Giraffe that got put into the fridge.

One guy came to a river that's famous for it's crocodile. but he crossed it without getting killed. how?

The crocodile went to the meeting. 

Rd #5

In the world. who can jump higher than the house???

Everyone. House can't jump. 

RD #4

in 2 hours, two person dig a hole. how many hole is dig if one person dig it. 

One. A hole is a hole

RD #3

the Husband is black and the wife is White and they just had a baby. what color is the baby teeth???

no teeth. no idea :D

RD #2

a guy got locked inside a room that's just made of walls. (all 4 wall, roof and bottom) there's nothing in a room but a mirror and a table. How does he get out????

he looked into the mirror. he see what he saw. he took the saw and saw the table in half. two half make a whole (hole). he crawl out of the hole. 

riddle number 1:

there's two clock. one run 5 minutes late and one is dead at 5 o'clock. which one is more useful? and why?

the one that's head is more useful because  one is never on time but the one that's dead is on time at least twice a day.