Brother Finally gave someone SOMETHING

dad: Take your toy with you, no one gonna ask you for it
little brother: why do i need to? it's mine
sis: you know, he gave bom(her bf) his flash lazer light the other day
mom: really???? that's something new
little brother: yeah, i'm not selfish....
me (over heard the convo): How dare you gave my stuff away!?
.................................

red line?

Jordan: hey, do i have a line on my forehead ? (line from the hat)

me: dude..... you are Pink, you can't see red line..

Jordan: omg you are so mean.....

van:(interrupted)  you're not pink, you're Red.

Jordan: what...

trung: (interrupted) no you are not .....

Jordan (interrupted) SHUT UP, u guys are so mean.

how?

Viet: a man is locked inside a room with no way out. inside a room there's a mirror and a table. how does he get out? 

me: stand on the table, jump into the mirror

viet: u ok?

me: how?

viet: well, he look into the mirror, he see what he saw. he take the saw and saw the table in half. two have make a whole (hole) he go out from the hole

me: =_===== asshole

viet: wat?

me: wat? no nothing. :D

wtf?

(English class)

sally: hey, what's mean to for it to say closed and wait list? 

Ifu: well, closed mean it's closed and wait list is to wait. 

(talking about register for class)

sally: omg i know that!! i need aaaa what the hell? (tried to hit ifu as he try push his hair back)

english teacher :  What are you THREE doing? no fighting in class......

me: How the heck did i got involved in this?

english teacher: (laughing) i know u are involved in this.

me: no.... no i am not =.===

all prepared except....

uyen: OMG i forgot to brush my teeth

phuoc: seriously? u spend an hour in the bathroom....

me: hahahahahahahahaha 

run!!

(walking up stair skipping steps, look back at linda)

me: RUN LINDA RUN ( lagging behind cuz she have to take step by step)

linda: F U, THIS IS NOT FUNNY!!!!!

pointless argument

(after 10 minutes of arguing on a pointless topic)

Amber: wow you are quite arguitive today Duy, Are you angry????????

me: ehh?????

A: hahahaha (walk away)

teamwork

me: you're the 3rd person who clean this table (note: the table have nothing on and completely polished) 

trung: yeah man!! that's what we call. TEAMWORK!!

pevt?

(at work)

(random girl came to the drink station where i work and asked where's the juice)

me: it's over there

random girl: thanks

(just doing my stuff "away from that girl" but still, only me and her was there until her friend sneaky running up and slap her butt and ran away quietly to the other side)

random girl: aaa (freaked out, looked back, (of course, only me standing behind her). about to scream until she heard her friend laughing really hard on the other side)

note: if i was about 4ft close and not 10ft away, i probably get slap cuz the girl looked pissed lololol.

jerk...

sis bf : "you still want to join the military even though u r afraid of height and u drown everytime you are in the water, even in class???" 

:D

I speak no well and spell no good :D lol

dont look

Note: please don't look at people when they eat or w/e, it is very awkward. that's all.

aye

dental office: "this is the dental office, could you hold please"

me: aye

dental office: could u hold please!??

me: aye

dental office: "sir! can you hold?"

me: yes......

dental office: thank you.

no wei

english teacher: "there's only 8 people who come today, no wei" "ahahaha i crack myself up."

deaf..

Uyen: what color is that car? yellow or white?

phuoc: are you colorblind? it's obviously yellow.

Uyen: color fly? where? what? i don't see any color flying

omegle vid chat

(female) stranger: wanna see me dance? ( n started to dance)
me: nope, not at all
stranger: oh look, i'm dancing with middle fingers.

Monster alert

Announcement:  Please DO not. I repeat. DO NOT go to the planet fitness on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from 7-9 PM. that's all.

ow

Note: don't say mean things or else you will get hit.....

haha?

me: have u finished the hw? (to a random guy that sit in the room, i thought he was one of my classmate)

random dude: yeah i did

(3 minutes later) : WTH? what homework?

me: the one that due in an hour.. i didn't finish it.

random dude: we have homework???

me: yep. 

random dude: m i in the wrong room??

me: are u in my class?

random dude: omg i'm in the wrong room, no wonder no one is here. 

cooky

note: people get very crazy and weird at night, so better watch out. (side note: most of them are crazy all day long.)

idiot!

student: "excuse me, can you tell me where the mug is?"

me : "mug? eh?"

student : "you know, the coffee mug...."

(note: i'm standing right next to the mug and the cups)

me: (picking up a mug that's in FRONT of his face. "you mean this???"

student: "yeah, where can i get it"? 

me: ( looking/staring at him like he's the most stupidest person in the world)

student: "oh..." (after 2 second) "what about the cups" ?

me : ....... (pointing at the cups that's 2 inches away....)

(note: some people is just completely student or blind. most likely both.)

smoke

note:  it's fun to turn on the smoke machine behind people back so they freak out and scream.

still don't know the name

(a girl at work that usually work with came n asked)
"where have u been"?
(i said)
"i had to fold laundry down stair because the new manager said it's too """"unprofessional"""" doing it upstair..'"
(she said)
"which one??"
(me)
"the annoying one with glasses, sorry, i'm really bad with name,  (then point at the manager)... righttt there."
(she said)
"yeah i hate that guy too, and i'm really bad with name too, i forgot your name"
(i said)
"uhmm i dont think i ever told u my name or u ever told me yours"
(she said)
"oh, oh...."
(then both walked away and still don't know each others name)

bus accident

after the bus accidentally hit the car bumper, the driver said,
 "please remain calm, that would help me out a lot"
a random girl from the back push everyone aside and asked the driver
"do you want me to conduct an emergency procedure?" (loudly)
the driver looked confused and everyone on the bus started to laughed loudly, the girl started,
"please follow the emergency procedure for court trial, if you see or heard anything, please fill in the paper and hand it to me or the police officer that will come in a bit, oh, you need to get our ur own paper and pen because i don't have any right now"
(then everyone left the bus laughing n wrote nothing)