idiot!

student: "excuse me, can you tell me where the mug is?"

me : "mug? eh?"

student : "you know, the coffee mug...."

(note: i'm standing right next to the mug and the cups)

me: (picking up a mug that's in FRONT of his face. "you mean this???"

student: "yeah, where can i get it"? 

me: ( looking/staring at him like he's the most stupidest person in the world)

student: "oh..." (after 2 second) "what about the cups" ?

me : ....... (pointing at the cups that's 2 inches away....)

(note: some people is just completely student or blind. most likely both.)

smoke

note:  it's fun to turn on the smoke machine behind people back so they freak out and scream.

still don't know the name

(a girl at work that usually work with came n asked)
"where have u been"?
(i said)
"i had to fold laundry down stair because the new manager said it's too """"unprofessional"""" doing it upstair..'"
(she said)
"which one??"
(me)
"the annoying one with glasses, sorry, i'm really bad with name,  (then point at the manager)... righttt there."
(she said)
"yeah i hate that guy too, and i'm really bad with name too, i forgot your name"
(i said)
"uhmm i dont think i ever told u my name or u ever told me yours"
(she said)
"oh, oh...."
(then both walked away and still don't know each others name)

bus accident

after the bus accidentally hit the car bumper, the driver said,
 "please remain calm, that would help me out a lot"
a random girl from the back push everyone aside and asked the driver
"do you want me to conduct an emergency procedure?" (loudly)
the driver looked confused and everyone on the bus started to laughed loudly, the girl started,
"please follow the emergency procedure for court trial, if you see or heard anything, please fill in the paper and hand it to me or the police officer that will come in a bit, oh, you need to get our ur own paper and pen because i don't have any right now"
(then everyone left the bus laughing n wrote nothing)